I am 60+ years old. Much of my life I endured the that makes you look thinner, or have you lost weight comments and they absolutely made me feel bad about myself. When someone says an outfit flatters me, I do not have a negative reaction. But I do acknowledge that some people feel this to be a backhanded compliment. But to me âflatteringâ represents someone who is choosing to avoid the slimming or thinning or body shaming type of comments. Perhaps this is somewhat generational.
My interpretation of flattering is that many elements have combined to make an outstanding outfit, the colors, the proportions, the accessories, and that I want to acknowledge the creativity and thought that has gone into putting an outfit together. I guess it could be shorthand. I have avoided the word for the most part lately, but I do bristle over people weaponizing words. I think intention is important. I feel I stumble onto weaponized words more and more often and I am made to feel bad when it is pointed out to me. I remember telling my children, if you allow a word to upset, then anyone with the gift of speech is equipped to take you down. Please know, I never mean harm, I do try to keep up, but I also ask that perhaps people stop and take a moment to consider the intention. I am making that extra effort and I think we should all be giving each other the benefit of the doubt. Life is long and language is changing, and it is difficult to keep up with these trends. Frankly, I find myself not saying anything because I cannot confidently identify whether I may do unintended harm and what a sad place this world would be without compliments, because when they do come out of the blue, they really make my day.
